I'm burning in magma

I still check out her Instagram page. So many stories with her dear boyfriend. I heard she wants to marry him. That's all alright. I can take it. I can live with it. But sometimes I feel pity for myself. I feel pity that I'm not going to taste the feeling of someone laying her head on my shoulder. Someone starring into my eyes for hours without saying anything. Someone who boils my feelings like a volcano. That's a deep sorrow. a deep wound that reaches my very core and burns it out. Sometimes I feel this wound is connected to a volcano and this invisible volcano is flowing magma through this wound to my very core and melts everything out and fills my core with its own.