powerful feelings

how? why? why can't I escape it? I had a dream last night. I was desperate on something. something bad had happened to me and I was sad. And she was there, D. She held my hand and I held hers. That was like a relief. Suddenly I was getting better. I couldn't find any logical reason. Just an illusion of feelings. Same thing I felt with R. in real life. I've felt it so many times with her and I think I had been addicted to it. This kind of addiction is difficult to hold back. How can I do it? 

Love is a powerful feeling. When you feel it once you can't live without it. You embrace anything that can give you that taste again. It can make you complete and very productive on your works and can make your life sweetest but if it ends, if it stops, your life would be a disaster. Fixing such a mess requires so much work. But when you are finally confident that you resolved it, you may end up with a result that both your heart and your mind agrees. You decide not to let your feelings to get that powerful again. That's like self-torturing, but it's the cost you need to pay to keep things stable, to keep yourself stable. You probably don't marry, don't get that close to anyone, don't let yourself to love anyone or even like anyone too much. But that's the point. All these things are jumping into powerful feelings that you want to avoid. 

Is that fine? That's a difficult question. I can't answer that. It depends on you. Which one do you prefer? being addicted to powerful feelings and feel pain just as hard and deep as happiness or do not go far deep inside feelings and their powers. 

Remember, you feel pain just as hard as you feel happy.