what is this feeling?

We all knew people who always try hard to anticipate every problem we might encounter and they prepare themselves to help us the moment we need their help. What is this feeling? Why do people do this? Why they decide to use their time and energy like this? What they achieve? 

I myself felt it. I don't know how many times and about how many people. I was too ignorant to my feelings before. But I remember one person. One very dear closest friend who's the sole reason of all these writings and the very blog itself. Who introduced me the land of feelings and love which I failed to forget its taste ever since. I remember I was ready to sacrifice my whole life and properties to make her happy. But where did this decision come from? How did I justify it to myself? Why did I take this decision in the first place? What was I thinking? That's it. I wasn't thinking. I was poisoned by powerful feelings which resulted in the loss of mind power, at least temporarily. I don't know to be thankful that the effect wasn't permanently or not. 

After I proposed her and she kindly rejected, I feel I'm getting braver and braver in social activities every day. And a bit wiser, I hope. Now I decided not to let myself be poisoned again. I'm not back to my 100%-mind-ruling situation. I have decided to let my feelings speak. To let them express themselves. But that doesn't mean I'm going to follow them blindly. I broke so many walls that had been built in my childhood by stupid beliefs and culture and built my own ones. I'm no longer running from society and social activities, no matter how wrong they seem according to my previous beliefs. I'm myself. I should rule my own life myself. I should choose what to believe and what not to believe. No one can force me on this subject. I'm free to choose. 

I'm braver. I'm ready to fail and I don't care about its people thoughts about me if I fail. 

I'm living for myself.